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Puppet Kaos - where Kelvin Kao plays with puppets and tell random stories

Barked at a Dog Today

Today, I barked at a dog.

No, it’s not some kind of metaphor. I literally barked at a dog tonight.

I was driving back from work at night. When I was opening the gate to the parking garage of our apartment complex, I saw an animal. It was most likely a dog, but I wasn’t sure because it was dark.

“Is that a stray dog?” I thought. While stray dogs are quite commonly seen when I was growing up in Taiwan, I don’t really see those in Southern California. I parked the car and went to the entrance to see whether it was actually a dog.

Yep, it was. You know how I knew? Because it was barking and running towards me. I was walking away but then thought that would just make it chase me more. I decided to stop. It stopped too, hesitating.

I thought about my options. I could get into a staring contest with it until it got bored and walked away (maybe). Or I could try to open the door into the apartment complex that’s a few feet away, so if it decided to chase me, I could just lock it behind the door. I would have to move towards the door and use my key to unlock it first though, so it wasn’t the fastest option. This was when the dog barked again, pressing me to make up my mind, I guess.

So like any normal person, I decided to bark at the dog.

Now, I have a low-pitch voice, so when I bark, I sound more like a big dog than a small dog. Also, I’ve done college theater without microphones. I could go really loud if I really want to.

So I barked once. The dog got that “Oh shit, what’s going on?” look on its face.

It seemed a little intimidated, so I barked some more… this time, way louder.

And then it got really scared and hurriedly ran back out. πŸ˜€

What a useless dog! Oh, and it wasn’t a stray dog. It was wearing a collar but wasn’t on a leash. When it ran out, a woman with another dog on a leash walked by.

I asked her if that was her dog. She apologized. Before I walked away, I shouted to her, “I won!”

So that’s my story of beating a dog in a barking contest.


  1. Na
    May 26th, 2010 | 10:00 pm

    LOL I was waiting for the punch line when all was revealed as yet another one of your crazy stories. (I’m still not sure by the way πŸ˜‰ )

  2. May 26th, 2010 | 10:22 pm

    This one is real. The fake ones would be filed under “fiction”.

  3. Na
    May 27th, 2010 | 1:13 am

    Ah, well sometimes it’s hard to tell when you’re being serious or not πŸ˜‰

  4. May 27th, 2010 | 1:22 am

    I know. I know. πŸ˜€

  5. Na
    May 27th, 2010 | 3:08 am

    Not a bad thing by the way – I enjoy your humour!

  6. May 27th, 2010 | 7:50 pm

    Hilarious! I don’t know why that has never occurred to me whenever a dog’s barked at me! I’ll have to try that next time. πŸ˜›

    Tony Single’s last blog post..Look! Comics!

  7. May 27th, 2010 | 9:24 pm

    Let me assure you that it worked very well. πŸ˜€

  8. May 30th, 2010 | 12:15 pm

    That is hilarious. Here, stray dogs are pretty common. They follow us on our walks in the morning. I’ll turn around and say “NO!” in the deepest voice I can muster. It sometimes works. Perhaps next time, I’ll just bark. Sage would like that.

    I’m glad that the dog wasn’t the viscous sort and that everything worked out okay.

  9. May 31st, 2010 | 2:42 am

    I was thinking what noise I should make to scare the dog away, and then it started barking. And I thought, “Riiiiight, I can do that too!” πŸ˜€

  10. June 3rd, 2010 | 2:43 pm

    Hahaha, that seems like the sensible thing to do. Fight fire with fire, really. Unless you’re up against a bear.

  11. June 4th, 2010 | 2:20 am

    If it is a polar bear, all I need to do is share some Coca Cola with it. For other kinds of bear, well, I don’t know…

  12. June 6th, 2010 | 2:58 am

    Are you kidding me?
    I’ve been scared by dogs many times when I was young and my mum used to tell me to stand perfectly still, don’t move a muscle.
    What do mums know… I should have been barking right back. LOL

    Keith Davis’s last blog post..Laugh and the world…

  13. June 6th, 2010 | 1:16 pm

    That was funny!
    Good thing the dog dindn’t take college theater or might decide to argue with you in low pitch voice…then it would become a discussion and a contest about better reasoning.

    Alien Ghost’s last blog post..Two Sides of a Coin

  14. June 6th, 2010 | 9:08 pm

    I laughed. Outloud. A lot. At this entry.

    Katrina’s last blog post..This Week in Mascara & Microchips: I did something bad…

  15. June 6th, 2010 | 10:53 pm

    @Keith: Yeah, I did that too. I stood still. But then I realized that I could also bark.

    @Alien Ghost: I would probably have a little debate with it. And when I got bored or was losing (I hope not), I shall toss out something for it to fetch.

    @Katrina: I. Am. Glad.

  16. October 31st, 2011 | 1:08 am

    […] of course, reminded me of a post I wrote last year titled Barked at a Dog Today, written after barking at a dog to scare it away. Apparently, I didn’t need any lessons. It […]

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